International Marriage. Problems. Part 2

In the first part of the article I focused attention on the description of the typical problems that occur in international marriages. How to overcome these difficulties, what concepts you can use to keep the family together, read below to continue :)

 1. Not a judge, but a researcher 

The same behavior can be assessed in different cultures quite differently . We tend to judge the behavior of people of other cultures on the usual criteria for us and serve as a judge. When we compare different points of view, the role of the judge we change the role of researchers trying to understand the " rules of the game " in which people live in another country. If the husband has tendency constantly " to reduce the balance ", counting the money to the penny , check everything and not to trust her expenses, it begins to annoy her wife. Because of his behavior she feels under suspicion that he controls her. She's afraid that soon it will go into conflict, and she does not want to destroy the family. What to do? In this situation you need trying to change the role of the judge to the role of researcher. First you need to know about the orders in the parental home of her husband, observe the behavior of friends of her husband, asking him questions. That is, try to understand why the husband behaves like this. Registration on local forums and social networks will help you to deal with this problem. Collect information about how people spend money and control their costs. Meeting people with different points of view and " rules of the game " , to help the wife feels relativity of her own point of view and calmly accepts her husband's behavior.

 2. Find opposite conception

If our life conception came into conflict with the reality of life in another country , you can try to expand your repertoire of concepts. Try to make opposing concepts. It may seem strange at first glance, but this technique helps to develop tolerance to other cultures . For example, a wife does not think that it's necessary to control the costs down to the penny , so it is so annoying pettiness of her husband. There can be offered such an opposite concept: we must always accurately reduce the bills and not to overpay too much in order to no one took our negligence. If the woman repeat herself this concept, she'll found soon that she begins carefully examine the bills as well as her husband. And her husband will be surprised to notice that she monitor carefully the costs and over time he will give the financial affairs of the family into her hands. Now, when his wife began to control costs, she realized that the economy is useful and not as bad as it seemed at the beginning and frugality her husband will not hurt her anymore.

3. Concentrate not on the problem, but on the opportunities 

When we feel that we can not come to terms with the way of life accepted in another culture, the problem completely captures our attention, and we lose sight of what opportunities we have. Make a list of all the new features and opportunities that you get from living in another country with her husband, without neglecting any detail. To adapt to new traditions and norms of life abroad is not always easy, but possible. The most important thing is the willingness and openness to new knowledge. Be researchers, look for new concepts, do not overlook the possibilities and you will succeed on the dating service Romance Compass!